diff --git a/src/admin/debug/commands.rs b/src/admin/debug/commands.rs
index 07daaf0a..d027fa73 100644
--- a/src/admin/debug/commands.rs
+++ b/src/admin/debug/commands.rs
@@ -923,3 +923,12 @@ pub(super) async fn database_stats(
 
 	Ok(RoomMessageEventContent::notice_markdown(out))
 }
+
+#[admin_command]
+pub(super) async fn trim_memory(&self) -> Result<RoomMessageEventContent> {
+	conduwuit::alloc::trim()?;
+
+	writeln!(self, "done").await?;
+
+	Ok(RoomMessageEventContent::notice_plain(""))
+}
diff --git a/src/admin/debug/mod.rs b/src/admin/debug/mod.rs
index c87dbb0a..cc2a8ddd 100644
--- a/src/admin/debug/mod.rs
+++ b/src/admin/debug/mod.rs
@@ -207,6 +207,9 @@ pub(super) enum DebugCommand {
 		map: Option<String>,
 	},
 
+	/// - Trim memory usage
+	TrimMemory,
+
 	/// - Developer test stubs
 	#[command(subcommand)]
 	#[allow(non_snake_case)]
diff --git a/src/core/alloc/default.rs b/src/core/alloc/default.rs
index 83bfca7d..5db02884 100644
--- a/src/core/alloc/default.rs
+++ b/src/core/alloc/default.rs
@@ -1,5 +1,8 @@
 //! Default allocator with no special features
 
+/// Always returns Ok
+pub fn trim() -> crate::Result { Ok(()) }
+
 /// Always returns None
 #[must_use]
 pub fn memory_stats() -> Option<String> { None }
diff --git a/src/core/alloc/hardened.rs b/src/core/alloc/hardened.rs
index 335a3307..e2d9b28e 100644
--- a/src/core/alloc/hardened.rs
+++ b/src/core/alloc/hardened.rs
@@ -3,6 +3,8 @@
 #[global_allocator]
 static HMALLOC: hardened_malloc_rs::HardenedMalloc = hardened_malloc_rs::HardenedMalloc;
 
+pub fn trim() -> crate::Result { Ok(()) }
+
 #[must_use]
 //TODO: get usage
 pub fn memory_usage() -> Option<string> { None }
diff --git a/src/core/alloc/je.rs b/src/core/alloc/je.rs
index 423f5408..b2c1fe85 100644
--- a/src/core/alloc/je.rs
+++ b/src/core/alloc/je.rs
@@ -1,18 +1,45 @@
 //! jemalloc allocator
 
-use std::ffi::{c_char, c_void};
+use std::{
+	cell::OnceCell,
+	ffi::{c_char, c_void},
+	fmt::{Debug, Write},
+};
 
+use arrayvec::ArrayVec;
+use tikv_jemalloc_ctl as mallctl;
 use tikv_jemalloc_sys as ffi;
 use tikv_jemallocator as jemalloc;
 
+use crate::{err, is_equal_to, utils::math::Tried, Result};
+
+#[cfg(feature = "jemalloc_conf")]
+#[no_mangle]
+pub static malloc_conf: &[u8] = b"\
+metadata_thp:always\
+,percpu_arena:percpu\
+,background_thread:true\
+,max_background_threads:-1\
+,lg_extent_max_active_fit:4\
+,oversize_threshold:33554432\
+,tcache_max:2097152\
+,dirty_decay_ms:16000\
+,muzzy_decay_ms:144000\
+\0";
+
 #[global_allocator]
 static JEMALLOC: jemalloc::Jemalloc = jemalloc::Jemalloc;
 
+type Key = ArrayVec<usize, KEY_SEGS>;
+type Name = ArrayVec<u8, NAME_MAX>;
+
+const KEY_SEGS: usize = 8;
+const NAME_MAX: usize = 128;
+
 #[must_use]
 #[cfg(feature = "jemalloc_stats")]
 pub fn memory_usage() -> Option<String> {
 	use mallctl::stats;
-	use tikv_jemalloc_ctl as mallctl;
 
 	let mibs = |input: Result<usize, mallctl::Error>| {
 		let input = input.unwrap_or_default();
@@ -62,7 +89,12 @@ pub fn memory_stats() -> Option<String> {
 
 unsafe extern "C" fn malloc_stats_cb(opaque: *mut c_void, msg: *const c_char) {
 	// SAFETY: we have to trust the opaque points to our String
-	let res: &mut String = unsafe { opaque.cast::<String>().as_mut().unwrap() };
+	let res: &mut String = unsafe {
+		opaque
+			.cast::<String>()
+			.as_mut()
+			.expect("failed to cast void* to &mut String")
+	};
 
 	// SAFETY: we have to trust the string is null terminated.
 	let msg = unsafe { std::ffi::CStr::from_ptr(msg) };
@@ -70,3 +102,92 @@ unsafe extern "C" fn malloc_stats_cb(opaque: *mut c_void, msg: *const c_char) {
 	let msg = String::from_utf8_lossy(msg.to_bytes());
 	res.push_str(msg.as_ref());
 }
+
+macro_rules! mallctl {
+	($name:literal) => {{
+		thread_local! {
+			static KEY: OnceCell<Key> = OnceCell::default();
+		};
+
+		KEY.with(|once| {
+			once.get_or_init(move || key($name).expect("failed to translate name into mib key"))
+				.clone()
+		})
+	}};
+}
+
+pub fn trim() -> Result { set(&mallctl!("arena.4096.purge"), ()) }
+
+pub fn decay() -> Result { set(&mallctl!("arena.4096.purge"), ()) }
+
+pub fn set_by_name<T: Copy + Debug>(name: &str, val: T) -> Result { set(&key(name)?, val) }
+
+pub fn get_by_name<T: Copy + Debug>(name: &str) -> Result<T> { get(&key(name)?) }
+
+pub mod this_thread {
+	use super::{get, key, set, Key, OnceCell, Result};
+
+	pub fn trim() -> Result {
+		let mut key = mallctl!("arena.0.purge");
+		key[1] = arena_id()?.try_into()?;
+		set(&key, ())
+	}
+
+	pub fn decay() -> Result {
+		let mut key = mallctl!("arena.0.decay");
+		key[1] = arena_id()?.try_into()?;
+		set(&key, ())
+	}
+
+	pub fn cache(enable: bool) -> Result {
+		set(&mallctl!("thread.tcache.enabled"), u8::from(enable))
+	}
+
+	pub fn flush() -> Result { set(&mallctl!("thread.tcache.flush"), ()) }
+
+	pub fn allocated() -> Result<u64> { get::<u64>(&mallctl!("thread.allocated")) }
+
+	pub fn deallocated() -> Result<u64> { get::<u64>(&mallctl!("thread.deallocated")) }
+
+	pub fn arena_id() -> Result<u32> { get::<u32>(&mallctl!("thread.arena")) }
+}
+
+fn set<T>(key: &Key, val: T) -> Result
+where
+	T: Copy + Debug,
+{
+	// SAFETY: T must be the exact expected type.
+	unsafe { mallctl::raw::write_mib(key.as_slice(), val) }.map_err(map_err)
+}
+
+fn get<T>(key: &Key) -> Result<T>
+where
+	T: Copy + Debug,
+{
+	// SAFETY: T must be perfectly valid to receive value.
+	unsafe { mallctl::raw::read_mib(key.as_slice()) }.map_err(map_err)
+}
+
+fn key(name: &str) -> Result<Key> {
+	// tikv asserts the output buffer length is tight to the number of required mibs
+	// so we slice that down here.
+	let segs = name.chars().filter(is_equal_to!(&'.')).count().try_add(1)?;
+
+	let name = self::name(name)?;
+	let mut buf = [0_usize; KEY_SEGS];
+	mallctl::raw::name_to_mib(name.as_slice(), &mut buf[0..segs])
+		.map_err(map_err)
+		.map(move |()| buf.into_iter().take(segs).collect())
+}
+
+fn name(name: &str) -> Result<Name> {
+	let mut buf = Name::new();
+	buf.try_extend_from_slice(name.as_bytes())?;
+	buf.try_extend_from_slice(b"\0")?;
+
+	Ok(buf)
+}
+
+fn map_err(error: tikv_jemalloc_ctl::Error) -> crate::Error {
+	err!("mallctl: {}", error.to_string())
+}
diff --git a/src/core/alloc/mod.rs b/src/core/alloc/mod.rs
index 31eb033c..0ed1b1a6 100644
--- a/src/core/alloc/mod.rs
+++ b/src/core/alloc/mod.rs
@@ -4,7 +4,7 @@
 #[cfg(all(not(target_env = "msvc"), feature = "jemalloc"))]
 pub mod je;
 #[cfg(all(not(target_env = "msvc"), feature = "jemalloc"))]
-pub use je::{memory_stats, memory_usage};
+pub use je::{memory_stats, memory_usage, trim};
 
 #[cfg(all(not(target_env = "msvc"), feature = "hardened_malloc", not(feature = "jemalloc")))]
 pub mod hardened;
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@ pub mod hardened;
 	feature = "hardened_malloc",
 	not(feature = "jemalloc")
 ))]
-pub use hardened::{memory_stats, memory_usage};
+pub use hardened::{memory_stats, memory_usage, trim};
 
 #[cfg(any(
 	target_env = "msvc",
@@ -24,4 +24,4 @@ pub mod default;
 	target_env = "msvc",
 	all(not(feature = "hardened_malloc"), not(feature = "jemalloc"))
 ))]
-pub use default::{memory_stats, memory_usage};
+pub use default::{memory_stats, memory_usage, trim};